Day 232 - Columbus Museum of Art

Today I took a trip to the Columbus Museum of Art to see the Picasso exhibit, and the new wing of the museum that opened last year that I had not yet seen. The new wing is beautiful. CMA is a smallish museum but it's a really nice one and it's right across the street from CCAD (Columbus College of Art and Design) my alma mater, which also has some nice galleries. Anyway, Picasso......his work is really not my thing. I can respect the style and see the uniqueness in it, but cubism and modern art is just not my thing. There was one painting that I was actually very much drawn to called Woman with mantilla (Fatma). It had a very impressionistic/pointillist feel to it and I loved the colors. I even liked the fact it was left unfinished. Impressionism is my favorite style of painting so it was fitting that I was drawn to it. That and the fact I could make out the subject matter (unlike the cubist style Picasso is known for). Unfortunately I could not take a picture of it directly so the pic below is off my computer.

My favorite painting of the trip was this monochrome teal green one below, found in another gallery. Teal is my color so once again, only natural that I would be drawn to it. Even more so since it has to do with Monet, my favorite artist, and his gardens at Giverney. You can read the story in the picture below. I'm in love with the way the water is painted showing ice and reflections so amazingly. I was totally mesmerized by it. Makes me want to attempt a similar painting of my own. Hmm.... I'll have to add that to my to do list. ;-)

I told myself I was going to make more Museum and gallery visits this year. So far I'm not doing so great on that. Need to pick up the pace. I did visit the Biltmore Estate, the largest house in the US, owned by the Vanderbilt family,  earlier this week on my way home from camp. There is quite the collection of art there, including a giant mural from Italy on the ceiling of the library, as well as amazing pieces of furniture. The architecture of the house itself is stunning. Even the property, the gardens, the fountains, the landscaping along the roads....all deserve a thorough going thru and appreciation. I was short on time but it's easily an all day visit kind of experience. Someday I hope to go back to spend more time.

Day 231 - Power, Purpose, Pleasure

I am posting this on the same day as my previous post but these paintings were done on different days, I just didn't get them posted in a timely fashion. This painting I did yesterday. As I mentioned, I attended a personal development summer camp for women last week through Stratejoy. The topic of the camp was Power (expressing your truth), Purpose (your inner truth's anchor) and Pleasure (doing what you like). These topics and the things we journaled about were actually quite difficult to think and talk about. There was a lot of confronting our inner selves and moving beyond our comfort zones. But through the tears and difficult tasks, we all emerged a little stronger in our selves. We left pieces of our selves that no longer served us behind (through a fire ceremony), and opened up doors to paths we hadn't realized we were meant to go down. As I said earlier, art once again became a huge focus for me. The calling is so strong right now I almost wish I didn't have to sleep or do other business stuff so I could just sit in the studio all day and night and create haha. So many ideas for paintings and other creative things in my head right now I fear I will lose them before I can create them. Since returning home I posted a few of my paintings in my camp fb group and they were very well received. Several people are asking for prints. Which is amazing, yet also scary. Its a direction I have wanted to go in, but have yet to do, once again because of unfounded fears. I have committed myself to the task now however. I have been researching the business aspects of printing and setting up an online shop all day today and hope to have that up an running here in the near future. It is scary to put myself out there, but it also feels like the next right step for me. It feels good in my soul - and that is my purpose - to love myself and follow my soul.

So this painting is in honor of my experiences at camp. The background I have been messing with and changing for several months now. You may recognize it if you have looked back thru my archives at all. I have never been happy with it and every couple months I change it again. I think there are at least 3 layers to it, each with a variation of a giant heart. It has been sitting in my studio waiting for the right moment to change it up again. The idea for this painting was actually going to be done on the other background I did in the previous post. But I was having trouble seeing it clearly on that background. Then I looked over and saw this "heart" background and knew this vision needed to be on this canvas. I love when visions and ideas come together at the right moment, with the right background.

Power, Purpose, Pleasure
20x20 acrylic on canvas

Day 230 - the start of something new

I'm coming off a week of summer camp and personal development that has affected me in ways I cannot yet put into words. I'm still doing a lot of processing but one thing that became pretty clear is I have once again been letting the craziness of life get in the way of my souls calling. I have been torn and pulled in numerous directions the last few months and have been fighting myself trying to figure out which way to go - feeling out of sorts and depressed. I thought I was supposed to go in an entirely new direction in my life that had nothing to do with art. And while I do believe I am still supposed to do that thing on some level, it is not to be at the level I was so extremely stressed over achieving. Getting out of your comfort zone is a good thing as long as it is aligns with your purpose in life. This calling aligns, but on a smaller scale than I was pulled to do ( the extreme stress was proof that I was trying to do too much).  I am never as aligned in my world as I am when I am creating art though. Even when I have stress about it, I know deep down I know its what I'm meant to do. I never even made it to arts and crafts at camp (I had intended to, but I let other things pull me away from it once again), but thru journaling and a lot of silent time with my thoughts, art began calling me again. Its who I am. Its what I do. So why do I keep myself from it so much? Honestly - I think its fear. Fear that I'm not good enough.  Which is silly. Who says I'm not good enough? What is 'good enough" anyway?  Who determines that? Its all in my head that's who. Ego is a crazy bitch some days and I'm working hard at ignoring her. All she does is hold me back and I'm kinda done with that shit, pardon my language.  So I am committing to getting back into my art every day practice as much as I can. I'm not going to force it like I did earlier this year - if my day just doesn't allow time for it, then so be it.But no more letting weeks and months go by without creating from my soul. Camp was a life altering reminder to do the things I love and want to do, not just the obligations I have to do. hopefully soon the things I love to do will become things I have to do because they will be necessary to my survival, by putting food in my belly and a roof over my head. much more on this later.

I tried to post this a few days ago from my phone but for some reason it wouldn't go thru so I'm reposting it now from my computer. I painting this a few days ago - the start of something new.....


24x30 acrylic on canvas

Day 229 - Source of Strength

S O S

Inside of me is a Source of Strength

I know it's there

I know it

So why do I struggle so?

When life has beaten me down

When I almost lost my life

My Source of Strength pulled me through

Source of Strength

S O S

My own personal life preserver

When the waters are deep

When the waves batter away at me

My SOS saves me

So why do I struggle so?

When the tough stuff happens -

Life or Death

Fight or Flight

Sink or Swim

I pull myself up and carry on

I survive

I am a Survivor

So why do I struggle so?

Day to day

Hour to hour

Moment to moment

I struggle

I struggle to smile

To laugh

To live

To love

I struggle to sleep

To wake up

To eat

To stop eating

I struggle to stand up and move

I struggle to sit down and take a break

I struggle to find my voice

My direction

My purpose

I know I am here for a reason

I know I have survived for a reason

I know I am an amazing being

Worthy of all the world has to offer

I know I have much to offer the world

So why do I struggle so?

When push comes to shove

I know I can dig deep

My Source of Strength will come through

And help me rise above

But where is it moment to moment?

Where is it -

When the tears are pouring down my face for days on end

And no one is there to wipe them away?

When the world is lonely and scary?

When the little things aren't so little

But instead seem like giants trying to crush me?

When the lemons have dried up and there is no possible way

To make lemonade?

Where is my Source of Strength then?

It is still there

Inside me

Waiting patiently for me to find it

Waiting for me to feel what I need to feel

Go through what I need to go through

Learn what I need to learn

To cry the tears that need to be shed

To fight the internal battles in my head

My Source of Strength is always there

Like good days and bad days

It has Strong days and weak days

But it is ALWAYS there

And on those weak days

It is Stronger than I realize

It is what dries my tears

And overcomes my fears

It is what gets me up and moving

When all I want to do is sleep

It tells me it's okay to rest

When life is out of control and I don't have time to

It helps me find new lemons

And ways to bring a smile to my face

It is what guides me in finding my voice

My direction

My purpose

My Source of Strength is the internal hug I need

To get me through the sad, lonely, rough days

The struggles are real

They will always be there

But my Source of Strength is real too

And ALWAYS present, even when it is quiet

I AM my Source of Strength

And I can do anything

Andrea Morgan  July 27, 2016

Source of Strength

Acrylic on canvas 24x24

Day 228 - painting

Boy it's been a while. Been on vacation and had a hundred other things going on pulling me in many directions. The call to create has been there but I've kinda been feeling in a rut lately. Still trying to figure out where I want to go with art. The logical thing is to figure that out on canvas, not in my head. But I just haven't been able to make myself do that. I follow a lot of other artists on Facebook, probably part of my problem - I need to stop comparing and getting stuck in the "I can't compete with that" mind trap.  Anyway, one of my favs, Flora Bowley, posted today - "when there are no words, paint it out." That statement pulled me into the studio just now and this is what came out. Not sure what it's saying, and it will probably take many more layers to figure that out. Or it might just stay as it is. I dunno. But I do know I need to get back in the studio again. I need to pull out my sketchbook and pencils again. Because I think this disconnect I have with myself and life is because I am not fully being me. Art is who I am and I've been letting too many other things pull me away lately. Need to stop that. 

Day 227 - mural

Finished adding grass and flowers to this room yesterday.

Day 226 - murals

Added some color and life to this boring room today. More to do tomorrow....