Art Every Day - Day 3 - YELLOW


I don't like yellow.

Yellow was one of the colors calling to me recently to explore more, because the universe recognized that it is my least favorite color. Unlike yesterdays rediscovery of Orange and my love for it - I thought maybe yellow would find a way into my soul today once I played with it.

Buuuttt......no......I still do not like yellow.

Today I used the color yellow medium azo, plus black and white. 9x12 acrylic on canvas

I decided to do it in a sunburst pattern because that's usually the first thing you think of when you think yellow - the sun. Bright and glowing and warm. The painting started off ok in the center. Of all the yellows out there, if I have to choose a favorite, it would be soft pale yellow. It has a sweet warm delicate feel to it. I currently have dishes that are mostly a soft light yellow surrounded by other colors and I love them. When light yellow is accented by other colors I like it very much.

The yellows on the background of this blog page I like - but only in combination with the orange and other colors. Salmon or pink and yellow - yummy!

But bright yellow on its own - no. Not so much. And when you add black to it - blech! It just gets pukey and ugly. Sickly. When I added the black to the edges of this my potential for liking the color went down the toilet. (It kind of looks like a toilet.) I just started cringing. I had a hard time finishing this painting - I wanted to chuck it out the window. Maybe its the color I chose, the black did turn it kinda greenish and yucky. Maybe a warmer yellow would have turned out better? I will have to try that another day. A nice golden color perhaps.

But I fear its just that I really don't like yellow.

Yellow definitely has its place though, and I often have to call on it in my mural paintings. Can't paint the sun or a banana without it. It is a bright, intense, and happy color - perfect for smiley faces, and sunshine, and flowers. But it just does not resonate with me. It is not a good color on me, and despite its happy demeanor, it does not make me feel good.

I'm sorry yellow, and universe, but I am not going to fall in love with you. I tolerate you, and respect you, but that's about the best I can give you. We will never have a meaningful relationship.

Sorry Yellow. I know you mean well - but you are not for me.

Art Every Day - Day 2 - ORANGE

Day 2 of Art every day in November -  I played with the color Orange.

I forgot I liked Orange.

As far as the orange family goes - I tend to be drawn mostly to a more pink version, like salmon. I LOVE the color salmon. The fish, not so much (I do not like seafood!) - but the color, definitely! It looks awesome on me, in fact it looks awesome on everyone! It brings out skin tones fabulously. If you've never worn salmon, next time you're in a clothing store hold the color up to you - I guarantee it will look great on you! And if you are tan - the color really pops!

Regular old Orange though - it was my favorite color when I was a kid. I used to wear an Orange hand knit shawl back then, haha. I think my mom made it.  Hey - it was the 70's - shawls were in! ;-) It was ombre Orange (dark at the bottom with fringe and light at the top) and the yarn was kinda silky and shiny but really soft. I loved that shawl. I think I still have it packed in a box somewhere. When my grandmother died when I was 8 though, purple became my favorite color, because it was her favorite color, and she was an artist too. So I adopted the color to honor her.

And I forgot about orange.

Well, I didn't really forget about it - it's half of my children's school colors, and their school name, and the name of the township I live in, and a main road I live off of . So it's a actually a big part of my life, always has been I suppose, but really, in name only. At least since I was 8.  I haven't been drawn to the color for a long time and I really honestly, tended to avoid it.

Until the color meditation I did a few days ago. When red orange and yellow called to me.

When I set up this blog I originally chose a different background, until I came across this one. At first I wasn't thrilled with the color - but it was the swirls that drew me in. Swirls are my thing - and this background is EXACTLY my thing! I am instantly drawn to this kind of pattern. At first though, I had wished it was a different color. But no such luck. If I wanted the swirls - I had to go with the orange and yellow. But the more I looked at it, I realized once again - ironically the universe is wanting me to have these colors right now, so in a matter of moments it became my favorite background. And I love it now! It just ......fits me. Weird how that is.

And so, as I was painting with Orange today I realized - I love Orange.

I think I actually missed orange. Huh.





For this piece (9x12 acrylic on canvas)  I used 2 different oranges - scarlet, and cadmium orange hue - plus black and white again. The scarlet is a deeper reddish orange, and the cadmium is a lighter yellowish orange. Neither were right on their own and I wanted a full range of orange (and didn't want to do 2 separate paintings) so I used both.

Orange is another one of those soft yet strong colors. It's vibrant in it's full intensity. I think it loses its vibrancy though, becomes less powerful (unlike red) when you add black to it. It becomes kind of dull in my opinion. Dirty. I think if I had added the black to the lighter orange it would be very dirty looking - kinda yucky or sickly. Adding the white at the top makes it softer, gentler. Calmer. Yet there is still an intensity there. Orange is a powerful color. Not quite as powerful as red - but still fairly strong.


 I'm really liking the color in the middle of this canvas though - a blend of the 2 oranges I used. I prefer the redder orange over the yellowy orange. It reminds me of a sunset and that is what I was going for when I painted it this way. The dark at the bottom reminds me of night settling in - the sun setting over a marsh perhaps. The added white at the top reminds me of a creamsicle.

 I'm not a huge fan of the taste of oranges, except for when I was pregnant - I craved oranges! Guess I needed some vitamin C. But eating oranges or drinking orange juice I almost never do. I don't know why, its not that I don't like them....I just don't like them enough I suppose. Orange candy or gum I'm ok with on occasion. Creamsicles I like. There's something about making it creamier that I like better I suppose. Sweeter versus sour. Maybe that's why I don't eat oranges or drink the juice - not sweet enough for me. I dunno.

Annnywaaaayy, haha I guess the universe knew I needed a reminder that orange is my friend. A long lost friend. Strange how it knows these things don't you think? The universe always seem to know the lessons we need to learn exactly when we need to learn them. It has a way of reminding us to listen to our soul and desires, even when we didn't know what it was our soul was desiring.

Who knew Orange needed to be heard. Well, I guess the universe did.

I hear ya Orange. Welcome back to my life old friend!

Art Every Day in November - Day 1 - RED

As I start this new art journey and blog- I read somewhere today, that November is - create art every day - month. I thought that lined up pretty well with my creativity cleanse and Soul Art discovery I am embarking on. So I am hereby going to attempt to do art every day in November and post about it here. Cuz where else am I gonna do it. ;-)

I am in the process of going back to the basics in art - learning about colors and shapes and what speaks to me. Yesterday's Cleanse assignment dealt with color but I want to take it a step further. Instead of just writing about what each color means to me - I want to also create a painting of each color. Just the color itself plus black and white. And then journal about it.


So today - day 1 - I'm starting with the all mighty RED.

I know - it's a boring painting. It's rather small - 9x12 canvas. I used acrylic - Napthol Crimson with a little carbon black and titanium white.  I have a whole series of these paintings I'm going to do with every color. (At least 16 of them because I have 16 of these small canvases.) And I basically just listened to the color and painted it how it wanted to be portrayed today. Sounds weird I know. But that's what this exploring thing is all about.

So....Red.  I'm not a huge fan of red. I look pretty good in red most of the time - it goes with my skin tone especially if I'm tan.  I don't mind the color, I'm just not drawn to it. Its an intense powerful color. Its a strong confident color. Maybe that's why I'm not drawn to it. Its bold - and I am not.  But maybe that is also why it called to me yesterday. I need to explore this bold color and incorporate it more into my life.

As I was painting this I thought -  I need to paint it strong and striking in a diagonal - like a slash of red across the canvas. Then I added a touch of black down in the corner. The color became almost......sinister to me with the black. Dark and foreboding. When I added the white to the top, the color became....weak. It lost its power. That was a very interesting thought.

Red is most often associated with Love. Hearts and flowers and Valentines. Red lips. Sexuality. Intense passionate feelings. Another reason I am not drawn to it I suppose, as those feelings have been frustrating to me of late.

It is also the color of anger and heat. Of blood, of strong sinister thoughts and feelings. The "red room of pain", which is also a room of pleasure. It is a contradictory color I have just realized. It is loving, yet angry. It is strong, yet can be made weak. It is a color of pride, yet also war.

It is a warning color. STOP! It is an energetic color that make you want to go! Do! Be! It makes your heart race and provokes your senses. It is passion! It is consuming.

It is Red!

My journey begins!

So I've decided to start a blog. I have no idea what I'm doing haha! But we all have to start somewhere right? I have started on a new journey of self discovery, with my art, and with my life in general. And I thought maybe I should chronicle my journey somewhere other than just in my own head and journal. Not sure how this is going to turn out or if anyone will ever see it, but that's okay. This is for me. Its a place to talk about my thoughts mostly as they relate to art and my search for my voice as an artist. So hear it goes.

I have loved art - drawing and painting and viewing it - for as long as I can remember. Most people would say I have talent. I struggle with it, but I do know that I have been gifted with a talent most do not have. I do see that, and I am grateful for it. My struggle though, comes from the belief that I am more of a copy artist, and not a true artist. What is a true artist though? Art is in the eye of the beholder right? I suppose that is true. Everyone has different tastes - what one person loves, another person hates. What one person sees as art, another could see as gibberish.

To me Art is individual. Its personal. Its the relationship between the artist and their creation - whatever that creation is - painting, drawing,writing, dancing, singing, cooking......and so on. Art comes in many many shapes and sizes and forms and every single person on this planet has a different view about it. Art is how you view it to be. Art is our opinion. Its our interpretation. It either speaks to us or it doesn't. Either way is okay. As an artist, the things I create are my interpretation of what I like, or what a client wants, to the best of my ability.

Most of my life and art though has been spent creating for others. For the last 15 years I have been painting murals as a career. Murals that clients have asked me to paint. And while I love my job, and have grown TREMENDOUSLY as an artist in that time - I have not been painting for me. I have been painting what I've been asked to paint. Even before the murals, back in school and art classes - I was completing assignments that were given to me. It has been a rare time in the last 30 some years that I have sat down and painted or drawn what I wanted to create. Part of my excuse was the busyness of family and life in general, but a bigger long held excuse was that I just didn't know what to do. That I'm not good enough. I've been afraid. I'm still afraid.

If you want me to paint a pirate scene for your kids bedroom - I will gather pictures of pirates and boats and the ocean and parrots and whatever else I can find piratey - then combine elements from all of those pictures - a boat from this one, a pirate from that one, a tree from here, a fish from there - and I will create a unique scene that fits the room and design theme the client is looking for. I don't really create it from scratch. I wouldn't know how. I do not have the capability to paint a pirate just from my mind - I need references. You give me any picture - I can paint it - I will put my own twist on it - but for the most part I am building off of someone else's idea. It's still mine - but yet its not.

 But to sit down at fresh white blank canvas and create something of my own - that scares the hell outta me. What if I have nothing to say? What is my voice? Do I have a voice? Who am I as an artist? Who am I as a person?  I know I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a daughter and sister and friend. I am an artist. But what kind of artist am I? What do I want to say? Who is Andrea?

This has been my struggle and it's been calling me to explore deeper for many years. But it became very loud last May (2014) when I stumbled across Laura Hollick's Soul Art online. She teaches a series of programs that help you learn to listen to your soul and find your voice as an artist - whatever your medium may be. It spoke to me like nothing has ever spoken to me before. It was as if a part of me, that had been asleep forever, woke up and said - FINALLY! Are you finally going to feed me now?! Lets go!

I knew deep down in my soul that I was meant to start on this journey. But I still struggled. My business was busier than ever, and spare time was little. Things at home were rocky. I was being pulled in many directions and frustrated and angry. I felt like I had finally found my path, but every step I took something knocked me down or blocked my way. I would start my Soul Art and make some profound discoveries about myself, but it was hard to follow thru sometimes. It was hard to find the time to set aside, but realistically - I didn't make the time because I was afraid. Afraid of the path my heart and soul were wanting to go in, and the soul art was leading the way. Afraid I would have nothing to say as an artist - that it wasn't good enough when it was coming from my own brain, my own soul. So I'd ignore it. I just kept working away with mural jobs, and struggling internally because the need to find my artistic voice was not letting me go no matter how much I ignored it.

It has been a year and a half since I found this path I know I need to venture down, and many many life changes later, I am once again embarking on this Soul Art journey. This journey to discover me and my voice as an artist. And as a person. I have been feeling lost for many many years, left behind. Depressed. Lonely. But for the first time, maybe ever, I am taking charge of my life. I am putting me first. I am making art - for me - a priority. Listening to that voice way down deep inside me and trying to feed the hunger in my soul. Trying to find ME.  And so my journey begins anew.

This week I started one of Soul Art programs called the 11 day creativity cleanse. Its basically 11 days of going back to basics - exploring colors, and shapes, and different mediums, and diving deep to find out what things resonate with you (me). As always with Soul Art the first thing you do is set an intention. Its like the guiding light for your journey - what you want to get out of the experience. My intention for this 11 day cleanse is - I am flowing with confidence and creativity. Confidence has been a life long struggle for me, and most especially when it comes to this art journey of finding my voice. So I needed my north star to be a strong one in this process. I have surrounded my environment with my intention so it always there to remind that I can do this. I can and will find me.

Yesterdays assignment was working with color. Exploring what every color means and feels like to you. What do you like about it, what don't you like, What do you associate with each color. Through a deeper meditation I discovered that certain colors I do not like very well, are begging me to explore them further. It was quite a surreal experience. But then again, Soul art is like that. Thru her guidance I had to set an intention for the meditation and I came up with the intention - I am Evolving. At the end of the meditation I had to tune into what colors spoke to me. Teal green, Navy Blue and Hot Pink are my colors - always have been. Navy is my go to color. It is my grounding. I wear it all the time, I look good in it, it comforts me and empowers me at the same time. Hot vibrant pink is my fun energy color, it makes me feel alive. And currently Teal is my power color. It calms me, yet also draws me in and excites me - I see it as a balance between the navy and pink. My life/environment is surrounded by these colors. 

Yellow is my least favorite color. I just do not like it and it doesn't look good on me. Red and Orange I don't mind but they are not favorites of mine either. I tend to avoid these colors though for some reason. And I think the universe knows that, and knew I needed to explore these colors more, because at the end of the meditation, red orange and yellow were calling me big time. This exact image appeared in my head - me with my blue and teal grounding background surrounded by red orange and yellow- evolving to a new place within. And I knew I had to paint it. Here is the painting - 


  




I know what you're thinking -I painted a picture from my mind! Well kinda. I still had to take a picture of myself in this position, not naked mind you, or even in a white see thru dress haha,  but mainly because I am not familiar with painting the body in this position - and I need my reference pictures! They are my safety net - something to fall back on when I'm not sure of the details. I did make up the rest though - the body as best I could and the dress. Overall it gets the vision in my head across well enough. But there are a lot of technical issues with it. I know I'm being picky - its my right as the artist though. I will always see the problems with my work, whereas most everyone else just sees a pretty painting. I get that I'm hard on myself, and more and more I am trying to view it from others perspective's and know that it is okay even if there are flaws. I still don't see this as something I could make money off of though. But I rarely do. Murals yes - fine art no.  I feel like I have a really long way to go for that to happen. But I'm working on it. ;-)

And that is what this journey is about - Feeling and exploring my way thru art - my likes and dislikes, what works and what doesn't, and finding my "thing".  Every artist has their "thing" - a style they are known for. I feel like I have a 'style' in my murals. Not sure what you'd call it but I feel like my work is recognizable and uniquely me. I am very detail oriented when it comes to painting murals. Its often those last little touches that make the mural come to life and I'm usually pretty good with that. But fine art is a whole different ballgame. I'm finding that I can't just zip my way thru it like I do when painting on a large scale wall. So I'm learning to slow down and start over again - back to the basics of art - so I can  navigate my way thru this new field. It's becoming quite the adventure.

So this is the beginning of my journey of finding my voice and me - thru Art.